Wow I'm sorry it came back and you and your wife and kids are going through this again.

Anger and shaking your fist at God is also a form of prayer. Sometimes a surprisingly effective one.

I've been through a lot of loss and I've come to understand that God's creation language of science has imperfections, but I still often wonder why?

A pastoral counselor once told me, during one of my long bouts of grief, that our short flicker of life in this mortal world is actually a birthing process into the next.

Who knows? But I'll pray for you and your wife to not give up. Pray for strength, and take it from there. A prayer like this is probably necessary. Maybe many more like this. 🙏