The thing about humans who are trying to be decent humans is that there is no right or wrong. There is only trial and error.

Most of us live in a culture of sexual trauma. This is even true in the cis world, of which I am a member. But the cis world applies so much terrible pressure on the non-cis community that the best response is to hold each others' hands as much as possible, and if someone is expressing unrelenting hostility, to simply disengage. It's usually not their fault. They're probably licking a wound of some kind.

Love really does make the world go around. Embrace forgiveness and love wherever you can, and when someone acts inappropriately (because no does, indeed, always mean no), remove yourself from the equation. Sounds like that's what you did. I would just add that it's important to not hold on to any of the negative feelings, and understand that the other person probably is struggling with something not necessarily of her own making.