Thanks for the read and comment. I think that's a pretty good take. It's our parents, after all. Some parents are terrible in many ways, whereas others are loving toward their children.

It gets even more confusing for kids when parents act differently than they talk. My dad often disparaged Black folks (nowhere near as viciously as my mom), but his best friend at work was a Black dude (he claimed). He was a WW2 veteran of the Pacific war, and had an encyclopedia of hateful monikers for Japanese people. But one of this best friends was a Japanese book store owner (so he said).

I have no idea what my dad's conversations were like with those folks no matter the truth. Was he gracious? Or was he Archie Bunker? Did he just *claim* to be their friends when I questioned his or my mom's behavior? ("some of my best friends are...."). I honestly don't know. Needless to say, I couldn't trust any of it.

Thanks again.