Just understand that some of us Americans are wary, and weary, of this whole fake, "Aren't Canadians just the nicest people??" thing.

Articles like this that refuse to acknowledge Canadian subservience to the great power at its arse end are perfect examples of what is wrong with the entire concept of Canadian nationhood. Or, should I say, based on this article, Canadian bullyhood?

Well, missy, we won't be bullied by, as you admit yourself, Snow Mexicans!

If it's any comfort, we Americans are willing to let Canadians decide which provinces become states. Most people on both sides of the border will probably agree that two provinces definitely should be absorbed as states: Toronto and Keanu Reeves.

The remaining provinces, honestly, can be relegated to becoming nuclear test sites as part of the effort to stand up to the mounting Chinese threat.

I have spoken.