For one thing, it's awesome that you're supportive of her lifestyle. So many parents aren't. It's just so vital to a kid to have that support without some parent trying to pull them in a direction that feels completely unnatural for them.

I don't think that in the moment we see the fake anger joke as mean spirited, because the primal motivation is to make someone feel even better than they would otherwise. It's pretty obvious, based on your parenting stories I've read here, that your motives were great. The fact that she felt confident enough to ask you to stop says a lot more about your parenting than this little foible.

I've learned that, in general, the fake anger jokes don't play well with most people of any age. That's not an intuitive lesson. It's just something that we discover when they fall flat, like they've done with me, too.