Siri? Can you tell me why China wants to go to war with us? — When Nancy Pelosi decided to stir a hornet’s nest in the South China Sea, there were probably plenty of exhausted Americans who struggled to know where or what Taiwan is. Many exasperated Americans woke up, saw a news headline about Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s little jaunt overseas, and…

If only every month could be July — Just when we were all ready to give up on Uncle Joe, he kills a terrorist to get on the good side of Americans who love dead Muslims, passes his industrial policy bill to ramp up American chip-making, and finds a way to get Joe Manchin to stop being such…

A lawyer discovers the gift of magic — “I don’t have time for a case like this.” I was running down the hall. Papers were trying to escape my closed, tan briefcase. Micah followed me into the courtroom. Sometimes, interns are like dogs. The little yapper kinds, not the cool big ones. “Go away,” I said to her…

There are few people in the world whose Bible IQ is as low as Marjorie’s — In a nation that has been hell bent on destroying the message of Jesus Christ for the last 250 years, Marjorie Taylor Greene has somehow managed to outshine the worst of the various rapscallions who claim to represent God’s interests. Opinion: Marjorie Taylor Greene’s words on Christian nationalism are a wake-up call Recent comments about Christian nationalism by Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert mark an alarming turn, writes…www.cnn.com

Texans will need to fill their swimming pools with something else if they want to swim — What do you do if you’re Greg Abbott, the theocratic despot of the state nurturing America’s most recent backlash against American women if the guy gunning for your job is closing in on you in the polls? Here’s what you do. You get your Korean corporate sponsors to invent a…

Too bad, because he should be preparing us to move on to his successor — Today, kids, we’re going to learn about waffles. And who doesn’t love waffles? Back before Ronald Reagan began the process of turning the United States into a right-wing theocratic dictatorship (okay, we’re not there yet, but we are working mighty hard at it), there was this fellow named Jimmy Carter. …

Da Boss has a court date to testify on his corruption charges — If you were giddy about seeing the great leader of the American insurrection in person at his scheduled “American Freedom Tour” event in Greensboro, NC Friday, July 15, I have bad news for you, so get out your bedpan. The event has been canceled so Big Daddy Orange can testify…

No, sillies, it’s not a sex toy. It’s MagicLand! And it’s only 99 cents. For, like, a day. — Have I ever told y’all I’m a crusty, frustrated old socialist? The handful of you who read me regularly have figured that out on your own, so I’ve never really needed to spell it out. I guess you could say I’m kind of like Bernie Sanders without the fanbois. Plus…

There’s a reason so many young men are shooting at the rest of us — I’m pretty sure my son was conceived on the top of a picnic table in the backyard of the local Roman Catholic church. And for many years, Easter for me was Sex Day. It was my mom’s favorite holiday, so the rebel in me decided that, out of all the…